


Show Me How (Joshler)

by frnkieroo



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bamf Josh, Bamf Josh again bc :))), Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Marijuana, Sassy Tyler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-22 22:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3746194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frnkieroo/pseuds/frnkieroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tyler is a huge gay nerd and Josh is relentlessly annoying. Sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on here, I apologize in advance lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thanks, Josh, for being a superb asswipe."

11:39.

That meant if he were to go to sleep right now, Tyler would have exactly seven hours and twenty-one minutes to sleep until the exam (give or take a few minutes to get himself together and get to Anatomy). But it didn't look like he was going to get any rest soon. Even though he's got most of the lesson down, he refused to get a bad grade on this last exam before spring break. He would inevitably beat himself up for it instead of having fun for the following two weeks.

"Okay, okay," Tyler took a deep breath, and exhaled as he looked down at his study questions. "The effector pathway of the autonomic nervous system generally contains, contains... Shit." _Yeah, it contains shit_ , he thought to himself, quickly flipping through his textbook to peek at the answer, just this once. "Two neurons. I knew that, Jesus."

11:44.

Seven hours, sixteen minutes.

"All preganglionic autono-" Tyler stopped reading to himself when he heard stomping and laughing down the halls. He sighed, waiting a little bit for the noise to settle down because his head was starting to hurt and he was losing his focus. After a minute or two, the volume decreased, so he decided to start up again. "All preganglionic autonomic neurons secrete-"

He was cut off by a loud ringing and he jumped in his chair. He groaned and left his work area and stepped outside of his dorm and into the hallway, where the noise was even worse. He looked around to see that almost everyone else already had been sleeping, except for one group a couple doors down that were doubled over in laughter. _Who could find anything funny this late at night?_ Tyler thought to himself, rolling his eyes.

Pete, who lived in the dorm across from Tyler's, looked as if he were about to fall asleep on the wall when he suddenly spoke up. "I think I found out who set the alarm off," he said, looking down the hall over at blue haired one in the middle of the group down the hall. "Josh is obviously too drunk for his own good tonight."

Josh? He had always seen him in Anatomy and now, could put a face to the name. _Great._  "Thanks, Josh, for being a superb asswipe," Tyler muttered under his breath. The damn alarm was still going off, and his headache only worsened.

11:59.

Seven hours, one minute.

That was it. Josh wasn't just going to laugh this off and go to bed without Tyler getting a word in, because it seems like the campus staff couldn't care less and let the alarm continue. He stormed down the hall over to the group who still continued to crack jokes until the very moment he showed up. "Were you the one who set off the alarm?" Tyler tried to make his voice sound angry but it came off as tired and hoarse instead.

Josh turned around quickly. "Who, me?" He placed his hand over his chest, feigning offense. "Yeah, I did it," he said a second later with a smirk. 

Tyler didn't expect someone to fess up so easily, and was expecting to have to force an answer out of him. He had a well thought out argument, even. "Oh," he said dumbly. "Well, uh, don't do that."

Josh did some sort of half huff/laugh that only pissed Tyler off more. "What, did I interrupt your studying?" He asked, once again with feigned hurt emotions. Tyler could smell the cheap beer on Josh's breath from where he stood.

"Actually, yeah you did, for a test in Anatomy tomorrow. Which last time I checked, you were in too," Tyler countered, trying not to grind his teeth.

"That's right! I usually go for this one strategy while testing, called cheating. It's gotten me through the year pretty well. You should try it."

At this point, Tyler was fuming. "I don't think so. I actually care about my education, unlike you."

"That's also right, because I have other things to care about, like how cute you look when you're angry."

Tyler froze. "Uh." He looked around the hall to see everyone in their own little conversations. He turned back, glaring. "Look. Next time you get piss-drunk, be a little considerate and don't wake up the whole fucking campus." Josh's eyes widened slightly at the outburst. The alarm started to die down, and everyone headed back to their dorms. "Some of us have responsibilities," Tyler finished, turning on his heel and heading back to his desk before Josh could get another word in. He walked back into his dorm, having to hold back from slamming the door. _He honestly thinks he could've thrown me off by trying to tease me on my sexuality? Who does he think he is?_ He sat back at his desk and stared at the same study question, and after his vision blurred a couple times he looked desperately at the time.

12:14.

Six hours, forty-six minutes.

•

Tyler got down to the room on time, Redbull in hand. The class was starting to fill up quickly so he rushed to find a seat in the back, hoping to simply blend in with the walls. As if it were too much to ask to go unnoticed, Josh happily took a seat next to him. Tyler sighed loudly, hoping he would take the hint. It went over his head. "For someone who never studies, you look pretty confident," Tyler muttered quietly as the tests were already being passed out. _And for someone who is most likely hungover_ , he thought.

"For someone who is going to obviously pass this test, you look pretty bitter," Josh pulled out a pencil and twirled it around his fingers. Tyler opened his mouth to reply, but then shut it quickly, knowing it was best to not acknowledge him as it only egged him on further, it seemed. He looked down as a thin packet was placed on his desk, shut out everything (even the hard-to-shut-out Josh) and veered his focus to the test.

About fifteen minutes in, a paper slid on top of his test.

'is #3 a or b'

Tyler's head snapped up to Josh's. "What are you, a fucking fourth grader?" He kept his voice low but also kept the venom in his tone. "And it's neither," he added quickly.

Before he knew what was going on, Tyler's test was picked up from his desk and loudly torn in two. He looked up frantically to see the professor standing in front of him. "Tyler, I expected more of you."

Tyler simply sat there, mouth agape. He watched as the professor made his way to Josh's desk, tearing his test too. "Please, please no, I've been studying all night-"

The professor cut Tyler off. "Come back at 9 and we'll talk. Both of you. You're excused for now," he said, shooting him and Josh a look and heading back to the front of the room. Tyler got up and walked out quickly, ignoring Josh's calls for him a few feet behind.

Josh finally got a grip on the edge of Tyler's backpack and pulled. "What the hell do you want from me?" Tyler snapped.

"I- nevermind, just go, it's not like you'll actually listen," Josh let go of his backpack and walked off.

There was no way in hell he was getting the last word. He caught up with Josh who was already heading to the elevator. He got in just as the doors slid closed. "You might as well tell me what you were going to say since I had no other plans for today."

Josh looked genuinely hurt for a moment, then his face changed to its normal asshole composure. "Well I was going to apologize, but now that I've had a couple seconds to think-" _What a revelation_ , Tyler thought to himself, _the man actually can think_. "I realized that you aren't really deserving of an apology."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tyler hissed. The elevator stopped short and a girl with her arms full of textbooks walked towards them.

"Next one, babe. Sorry." Josh pressed the emergency close button without the slightest twinge of remorse.

"You're a careless asshole, you know that?" Tyler said, feeling sorry for the poor girl.

"I get that a lot. Anyways," Josh continued, "You aren't deserving of one but I'll give it to you anyway since I am actually quite the gracious soul." Tyler rolled his eyes, but made no comment and let him go on. "I'm sorry I bothered you and made you fail the test. That was pretty shitty of me." The elevator slowed to a stop again and opened up to their floor. Josh was almost up to his door when he piped up again. "And here's some food for thought: If I'm really that careless, why did I bother to show up?" And with that he shut his door.

"Read a book then, Josh, maybe you wouldn't have needed to cheat," Tyler said quickly, heading to his dorm, satisfied that he got the last words.

•

8:50.

Tyler groaned. He wanted this chance to save his grade, but he was going to explode if he had to see that goddamned blue haired kid one more time.

Tyler opened the classroom door to see Josh already there, casually chatting with the professor.

"Ty, buddy! Take a seat!" Josh sounded  _way_ too happy given the situation they were in. Tyler bit down on his tongue, holding back every curse word his head contained.

Sitting down in front of the large messy desk, he waited until the professor turned to grab a few papers and leaned over to Josh quickly and whispered, "Call me Ty one more time, I swear to fuck."

Josh laughed quietly, shaking his head.

"Is there any way I could make up for this? I'm so sorry that this happened," Tyler tried his best to ignore Josh's presence.

"Mr. Joseph, from what I understand, you two were equally guilty in this situation. He wanted answers, and you had them. Obviously I'm not proud of how this was handled, but I think I have a solution." Tyler looked down at the professor's hands to see the exam laying there.

"What did you have in mind? I'll do anything." Tyler was starting to sound desperate, but he didn't care.

"As you both know, spring break has pretty much started." The two silently nodded. "So, for the entirety of this break, I'll have Mr. Dun and you share a dormitory. Josh will have a tutor his age that he might actually  _listen to_ , and it might even help you two learn how to get along, I would hope, and maybe even make up for the alarm incident."

Tyler felt his heart drop, and his brain was screaming a constant  _nononono._ He looked to Josh to see that he was just as shocked. He found his voice again, and spoke up. "I don't think that will work," he stated dumbly.

"I don't think so either. I  _know_  so. Because if you two can get along for the break, you can retake the exam afterward. The grading period doesn't end today like I thought it did, so think of this as a god given second chance."

Tyler ran his hand through his hair, sighing. "Fine. But the moment spring break is over, he's back in his own dorm, right?" The professor simply nodded. "Okay, sure. I'll do it." He looked next to him to see Josh silently nodding in agreement and realized he hadn't spoke for this entire conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler left the room, and dear lord, was Josh curious.

"Okay, let me lay down some basic information for you," Tyler said as he shut the door behind them. "Unless I'm up studying, I'm in bed by 10, no bullshit after then. In fact, no bullshit before either. Don't touch my laptop, don't touch my phone, do _not_ use my cologne." Josh looked confused at the last part, but Tyler wanted to make this as clear as possible. Also, he spent $60 on the cologne, can you blame him? "Your drinking and smoking buddies aren't allowed in here, and neither is the drinking or smoking. If you want to sneak out and do it somewhere else, it's fine by me, just don't be obvious. You can ask me any questions, just don't expect an answer, and most importantly," Tyler paused to take in some air as he was rambling. "Most importantly, if you break my microwave, I will break you. We'll go on a three-strike system since you're apparently still a kid. If you hit three strikes, your ass is out of here, I'll find another way to take the exam. Okay?"

Josh stayed quiet for a long moment, his expression unreadable. "Fine, with one exception."

Tyler fixed his eyes on Josh, then looked away to press a button on the elevator wall. "What would that be?" He asked warily.

"Well, since you're stuck with me, I think that we should share something about each other every day. Might as well get to know me and then see if you still hate me." Josh was looking down at his hands now.

Tyler raised an eyebrow. 'Hate' was a strong word for him, but he simply ignored the last part. "Sure, whatever. I'll be honest, I'm sure you'll find me just as boring as you do today in a week, Josh."

"I don't think you're boring. You've got a pole up your ass most of the time, but definitely not boring."

Tyler 'hmm'ed flatly in reply, not sure how to really respond. He usually would have taken offense to shit like that, but he could even see that he needed to calm down a little bit.

When they got into Tyler's room, Josh's eye grew. "Shit! You didn't tell me how cool your dorm is."

"That's because we usually don't talk to each other," Tyler rolled his eyes, sitting at his desk.

Josh ignored the last comment, walking around the small room. The walls were covered in letters, posters, and pictures, some looking like they would fall to pieces at one touch. There was one photo of young Tyler and some other boy dressed in sports clothes, in a gym, with a... microphone in front of them? Tyler's eyes were closed, and both hands were gripped around the mic stand. "What were you doing there?" Josh pointed to the photo. Tyler spun around in his chair, and turned pink.

"Oh, that was a long time ago. I, uh, yeah, I sang the anthem with my friend before a big game."

"You can  _sing?_ " Josh asked in amazement.

"I used to, not anymore," Tyler looked down, wringing his hands. "Not with college and all." He paused for awhile, then looked up. "Well, that's one fact about me. You can go out with your friends now, or whatever." He turned back to his desk, waving up his hand in a shooing motion. 

"You're not getting rid of me that fast, sorry," Josh giggled, falling back onto the bed. "Besides, you haven't learned something about me yet."

"Go ahead, then." Tyler hadn't bothered to look up from his desk this time.

"Well, I play the drums. Or I  _did_ , before I moved here. I was even in a band with my friends."

"Well why don't you anymore?" Tyler asked. Josh was surprised that Tyler even sounded mildly interested. He made a mental note about music discussion topics. 

"I kinda want a future too, man, " Josh laughed. "Same reason as you. I wanted it to be more than a hobby but no one else saw it as more, aside from the other band members, so we dropped it and I went to college. Livin' the American dream." Josh sighed, feeling the weird downward pulling in his chest he only got when he thought about his music. Tyler only nodded quietly, once again turning back to his desk. He decided now would be the best time to change the subject as the air was starting to grow stale with silence. "You have homework for break or something?" He breathed out as he got up and looked around more. A ukulele was sitting in the corner of his room on a stand. He's have to remember to bring that up later, but not now. Subject changed.

"I'm pretty sure I have an essay to do for Psych, but I'm not gonna bother with that til' later," Tyler mumbled.

"So what are you working on right now?" 

Tyler looked up, flustered. "It's nothing." He opened a drawer filled with tons of loose paper and tossed it in. "I don't sing anymore, but I still write songs."

"Were  _all_ of those papers in there songs you wrote?"  _And we're back to music. Damn_ , Josh thought, feeling the pulling weight rush back. _  
_

"Mostly, yeah, but some of them aren't even songs as much as they are... ramblings, I guess." Tyler got up from the desk. "I'm gonna go down to get some soda, want any?"

"Sure, and I'm not picky."

Tyler left the room, and dear _lord,_  was Josh curious. He threw open the drawer, seeing previews of hundreds of lyrics. He didn't really know where to start, so he grabbed a couple at random and shuffled through them.

_And I just can't believe it has to be this way_  
_You know we say it seems to me that it was just the other day I saw your face, I saw your light, you ran the race, you fought the fight_  
_But now it's all being torn down for me tonight_

"Fuck," Josh mumbled under his breath, continuing to go through the papers.

_I want to be afraid but it seems that these days_  
_I'm caught under water and I'm falling farther_  
_My heart's getting harder, I'm calling my father_  
_Am I screaming to an empty sky?_

Josh's hands were beginning to tremble.

_Let the water wash away_  
_Everything that you've become_  
_On your knees, today is gone_  
_And tomorrow's sure to come_

He tossed the papers back in and slammed the drawer shut, running a hand through his hair. He had seen previews of more songs but it was starting to become overwhelming. "This is the shit that's sitting in his head all day?" Josh sighed, leaning up against a wall. His chest felt funny and his throat felt tight, and he didn't like it one bit.

Not. One. Bit.

•

Tyler returned with two Cokes to an empty room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk??????? i d k  
> i guess i'm gonna write a third part (or more now that i'm thinking about it), wasn't planning on it but yo!  
> opinions?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler's a fuckin lightweight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao im spending my bday night writing gay fanfiction  
> Js, if any talk of drugs makes you uncomfortable, skip dis. There won't be any suuuuper important info so you're not missing a plot piece p much (but it's not a filler idkidk read if you want im trash)  
> ily

11:07 pm.

There was a bang at Tyler's door. He jumped up, running to the door and hoping it wasn't an emergency. He swung his door open to see Josh, smiling widely with one hand propped up against the doorframe.

"Ty- _ler,_ just the boy I wanted to see! How's your day been?"

Tyler's cheeks got red. "Get in, you're being really fucking loud." He shut the door after Josh stumbled in, flopping back on his bed. "What's your deal?"

"I'm just happy to be alive, Tyler, can't you appreciate that?" Josh threw his hands up in emphasis.

"Oh my god, don't tell me you're high," Tyler laid back against the wall, sighing. "I don't want to take care of you."

"You're being ridiculous Ty! I simply... I simply dabbled in the use of medical marijuana. And you don't have to take care of me, I'm not a kid."

"What did I tell you about the shit you do? You keep it  _outside_ of my room, I'm not asking for much! My room already smells, Jesus..." Tyler ran a hand through his hair then froze. "And you better've not just called me that stupid nickname again."

"No, you said I keep my friends and our activities out of the room, that I leave with subtlety," Josh was sitting up now, sobering up. "Do you see my friends in any corner of your room? A blunt anywhere? I can't. I stayed out for as long as I could to keep myself out of your hair and keep myself distracted. What else do you want from me?"  

Tyler walked over, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "Maybe an explanation on why you have to distract yourself." His voice was softer now, and slightly confused.

Josh shook his head. "I'd rather not make this night into one of  _those_ nights, you know?" Tyler's blank expression read as a 'no', but Josh continued. "What's the sleeping arrangements, anyway?"

"Uh, well," Tyler looked around his room. "I probably don't have enough room for another mattress, if I wanted to help you get it anyway. My bed's a good enough size for us to share, I guess."

"Works for me. I'm beat," Josh stood up to head over to his bag of clothes, but once he was upright he could remember how much he actually smoked. "Damn." He shook his head, opening his backpack. "You ever tried weed, Tyler?" He bit his tongue to hold back the  _it would do your high-strung self some good_ comments that threatened to fall out in fear of another tiring argument, that and he was genuinely curious of how intoxicated-Tyler looks.

"Once, and it was a bad trip." Tyler stared over at his wall as if it were actually entertaining because Josh had no problem, apparently, with completely undressing in front of Tyler. And sure, Josh was one annoying fucker, but he had a nice body.  _Inner gayness,_ Tyler thought,  _if you could take it down a notch for this week I'd be ever so grateful._

"Would you ever try it again?"

Tyler shrugged, looking down at his fingers now. "Dunno. Not if I reacted the same time as last."

"Well honestly, you react different every time, depending on how your mood was that day down to the strain you choose. I'd be down to introducing you to some." Josh jumped back onto the bed in a thin black shirt and boxers. 

Tyler looked to the clock. 11:10. "What about right now?" he asked quietly.

Josh's eyes widened. "You're serious?" Tyler nodded. "How come you're succumbing to this so quickly? Possession? Maybe a Tyler impostor?" 

"Shut up," Tyler said, but his voice held a different undertone, almost playful. "I'm thinking it might help me go to sleep, I've got a lot on my mind."

"Sure, alright," Josh smirked, seeing right through Tyler's almost high-schooler approach at an excuse for weed. "Let's go." Josh went back to his backpack, throwing back on some clothes that would make him decent enough to walk out of the dorm. He grabbed his backpack, throwing it over his shoulders. 

Tyler forgot that meant he had to actually  _leave_ his room. He felt the anxiety bubble up, but shoved it down. "Yeah, let's... yeah." He got up, quickly throwing on his hoodie with  _where the everloving fuck are we going why am I doing drugs with this blue haired fuckboy I need to sleep_ screaming in the back of his head. He shut it off, he shut it all off, because he was not going to ruin this chance. He never talked to anyone enough for this offer to arise, nor has he ever gotten the instantaneous bravery to give in to these things. It was just this once, and he would only take enough to make him tired, to shut off his thoughts without effort. At least, that's how he assumed Josh's drugs worked. 

•

Josh was already mostly sober by the time they left campus, and by suggestion of Tyler would  _stay_ sober to watch him in case of a bad trip. Josh didn't mind. A full experience view of a laid back Tyler without roadblocks of his own intoxication sounded nice. Also, he wasn't going to be guilty of a bad night for Tyler if he could help it. 

"Where are we going?" Tyler pulled his hoodie closer to his body, crossing his arms.

"Not far. Just a little spot I used to go to before my friend's van was an option. And I'm lazy, so how far do you think I'm really gonna take you?" Josh said, making Tyler laugh. He could sense a bit of nervousness in Tyler and was pretty excited by now to temporarily wash it away.

They were in the center of the small park that resided next to the campus, covered by foliage but with enough moonlight leaking through to make things still slightly visible. Josh found a large spot of grass that the dew had avoided, sitting down and patting the patch next to him. Tyler plopped down, immediately running his hands over the grass. "Is it weird how I find that comforting? The feeling of grass? I'm like, one of the only people I know whose skin gets barely bothered by it, so when I was a kid I would roll around in it forever." Tyler was looking down, still waving his hands back and forth across the ground. 

Josh looked to Tyler after opening his backpack and smiled. "No, I get it. A familiar, nostalgic vibe can come from anything, honestly. We all grew up with different surroundings. For me? The smell of sculpting clay. Or, those strong-ass Altoids mints. I don't even remember why." He reached into his backpack, pulling out a small prescription bottle, a lighter, and his pipe. "This guy," Josh said, holding up the pipe and admiring the ceramic blue and white swirls that adorned it, "is my old reliable. This little shit had gotten me through most of high school, and still to this day. And I'm trusting you to not fuck it up."

"I feel honored."

"Y'should," Josh laughed. He popped open the bottle, holding it under his nose. "Another nostalgic feeling." 

"That's something I don't think I'll ever understand. It smells like actual ass plant, how could  _anyone_ find comfort in that?" Tyler was now cross-legged, picking at small pieces of grass in front of him. 

"You've only smoked once, you wouldn't understand."

"Alright Cheech, pack a bowl already."

Josh shook his head, laughing. He filled the small pipe and handed it over to Tyler. "Now you know how to use this, correct?"

"Obviously," Tyler said, sounding a little offended. 

"Only checking, I don't want you wasting this." He waited a moment, looking at Tyler holding the pipe up to his lips with one hand and the lighter in the other before reminding him about the carb. 

"The what?"

Josh rolled his eyes. "Look." He took Tyler's hands in his, guiding his fingers into the proper position. 

Tyler hoped the change in tint of his cheeks wasn't noticeable in the dim light. Josh's hands were pretty soft.  _Gay. Chill._

•

After three bowls, Josh started to pack up. "Wait, wait, I'm not feeling anything Josh," Tyler felt a little frustrated. He did what he believed were some pretty good hits, exhaled picture worthy clouds. Well, not the first couple times, which mostly consisted of coughing and spitting because he was just that attractive.

"Oh, you will. You're probably just a late bloomer with it."

"Late bloomer, alright," Tyler said low enough for Josh not to hear. The two stood up and started their trip back. 

"Could I admit something?" Josh asked as he kicked a rock off of the sidewalk. 

"Sure." 

He hesitated. "Actually, I think I'll wait until we're back to the dorm. Too cold for discussion." They walked for a bit longer in silence. They both kept their paces slow, finding no reason to rush other than the annoying weather. And with the scenery, they could handle it. Nighttime in autumn was Josh's favorite, and he took any moment to savor it as it always seemed to be the shortest of seasons to him.   


Josh suddenly felt a grip on his arm. He turned to Tyler, who had stopped walking. "You alright?"

"I think it's starting to hit me." Tyler looked at Josh, who was beaming.

"That's great! How do you feel?"

"Like I'm gonna need to hold on to you if I'm gonna keep walking," Tyler mumbled. "Fuck. Alright, the longer I stand here the more I feel it, let's... let's go." The next couple moments of walking were Tyler quietly laughing and Josh trying not to laugh at his ridiculousness. 

They were walking into the elevator when Tyler spoke up again. "Josh?"

"Hm?"

"Am I gonna fall?"

"What kind of question is that?" Josh laughed lightly.

"Dunno." Tyler's voice sounded different.  _Was this what his voice was like before he choked up with pointless stress?_ Josh wondered, then wondered if there was ever a point when he wasn't stressed. _Other than now of course_ , Josh noted, watching as Tyler stared at his hand with childlike fascination. At one point Tyler had lowered his hand down far enough to reach Josh's, and Josh made no comment of it. _  
_

Tyler's grip on Josh's hand tightened for a quick moment as the elevator stopped at their level. "I thought for some reason we were gonna keep going up, I was so prepared for that," Tyler said with a giggle.

So far, high Tyler was pretty damn adorable.

As they walked into the room, Josh sat back down on the bed, looking over at Tyler, who was walking around his room, gazing at the items everywhere as if they're were his first time seeing it. 

12:45.

"We weren't even gone that long, how..." Tyler stopped mid-sentence after looking at his phone's time. "I'm tired. And floaty. Flired. Toaty. Hm."

Josh couldn't help but smile. "That's completely normal. We should probably go to bed now." As much as he wanted to talk to Tyler just to hear the light-hearted tone he was using at the moment, he didn't want to exhaust him.

"My bed! That sounds nice, yeah."

They stripped down to boxers and t-shirts one again, and this time, Tyler was a bit more comfortable with dressing in front of Josh. Josh shut off the lamp near him and shuffled over to give the wobbly kid room. It was dark now but he could feel the dip in the bed beside him. Once they were both under the covers, Josh could feel Tyler shaking. "I should've let you use one of my heavy jackets,' Josh whispered.

"What?" Tyler rolled over to face him.

"If you get high when you're cold, some people won't stop shaking. I feel bad."

"I'm fine, I swear Josh. This is  _much_ better than last time."

Josh smiled to himself. 

After a long period of silence, Tyler spoke up. "Josh?"

Josh jumped slightly as he assumed Tyler would be asleep by now. "What's up?"

There was a pause before Tyler started. "So... So imagine this room, right? This room full of children. They're all sitting in a wide circle, blindfolded. Standing in the center of the circle is a man the children all know nothing of. This man begins to describe himself, and tells the children of his hopes and goals."

"Where are you going with this?" Josh asked, bewildered.

"Shush, don't sidetrack me. Anyway, he tells the circle of children of his hopes and goals. Then the man leaves, and never comes back. The kids... the kids, they then are each handed a couple sheets of paper and are asked to draw the man from what they received of his description, and to write down things they could do to help him achieve his hopes and goals. Each and every interpretation of this man was vastly different, and there was such a variety in approaches on how to help him. But they all listened to the same man. The children argued on the rights and wrongs of other kid's approaches, and all said that they felt their drawing was the most accurate of him. They're all right in a way, aren't they?" Tyler looked at Josh as if they were on the same page. Tyler was in a different fucking book at the moment.

"I guess they would be. What's your point?" 

"That's how I see religion. We're all looking in the same direction, just... just from different angles, you know?" Tyler pulled up the blanket closer to him. "I sound so dumb, huh?"

"Actually, that was pretty impressive. I never even thought of it that way. Shit." Josh was too sober for this.

"M'sleep." Tyler's voice was partially muffled by the pillow now.

"You do that, goodnight."

"Hm, loveyou."

Tyler was probably not aware of what he was saying now; Josh shrugged of the stutter in his chest. _How much of this would he remember tomorrow?_  Josh pondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 2am guess you just finished yooo!   
> ps tysm for even bothering to read my shit like?? !! your comments make me smile ya so cute  
> also this chapter went in a waaay different direction than i was planning whoops? I'll try and post again soon <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's all about taking chances. (and shotgunning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry about the wait, the blurryface leak got me feeling all kinds of ways  
> and please enjoy!! i love the feedback, every comment counts yo

"Tyler. Tyler. Tyler."

"Huh."

Josh ignored the morning voice, as much as it made his chest tighten. "It's almost one in the afternoon. Wake up, damn."

Tyler sat up quickly, brows furrowed. "What? That can't be right. You sure?" He froze then. "Don't ever let me do that again."

"I'm pretty sure I don't control how long you sleep, Tyler."

"I meant the smoking. I was probably such an idiot last night..." Tyler rubbed his face in a useless attempt to wake himself up.

"You actually handled it pretty well. I mean yeah, you weren't used to it hitting you all at once like that, but after a bit you just..."

Tyler raised an eyebrow. "I just what?"

"You got really thoughtful. And sleepy." _And fucking adorable beyond anything my imagination could conceive_ , Josh thought, and knew it was best to leave that part out. "You were so chill, it was cool to see that side of you."

"Hm," was Tyler's reply, looking down now. He stayed quiet for a moment. "Then maybe we'll do it again sometime. But not soon. So don't get your hopes up, I might change my mind." He sounded serious but Josh saw the small smile playing on his face. Tyler looked up, staring straight at Josh. "What did you have to tell me?"

Josh's brain blanked out, and he uttered a plain "What."

"Last night. I swear to god you told me if you could tell me something."

Josh's stomach dropped, but he blocked out the feeling and slapped on a confident smirk. "You sure it wasn't just your drug induced brain playing tricks on you?"

"No, seriously. It's gonna bother me now if you don't tell me," Tyler frowned, possibly inching closer to where Josh was sitting on the bed.

"It was nothing, I-" Josh filed through his mental folder of quick excuses, but to no avail. He sighed. "It's embarrassing now."

"What, now that I'm sober?" Tyler laughed.

"Well, yeah." Josh looked truly uncomfortable now and Tyler could see it, which only made him more curious. In most cases Tyler would've backed off ages ago, but he felt different about talking to Josh now.

"Just tell me, and if it's somehow too weird for me I'll get the hell over it," Tyler pleaded.

Josh looked at him with a please-don't-make-me face for a moment, then sighed loudly. "Fine, fine." He paused, wondering if the distance between him and the door was close enough for him to run. Not exactly, he thought. "Last night, when we were out in the park, and you were... you know," he started, Tyler nodding. "I noticed, uh, _howcuteyoulookwhenyousmoke_."

"Wanna not mumble that last part, Josh?"

"I said you look cute when you smoke." Josh pouted, angry that he even had to say this aloud. "I find the whole smoke escaping the mouth really... enticing?" He cringed, not even sure if he was using the right word and god damn it why couldn't he just be awkward around someone else some other time? Why here and now?

"You have a smoking fetish?" Tyler asked, his tone unreadable.

Josh's eyes grew. "No! No, no, fetishes aren't my thing, I just-" Josh's face was ultra-red now. "I just thought it looked good on you. The whole situation. This is coming out really dumb, I don't know." Josh could almost hear his pulse clearly in his ears now. He looked down, twiddling his fingers anxiously. He's never lost his chill, ever. At least not like this. His brain was blaring now, _I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm-_

"That was cute." Josh's head shot up and glanced at Tyler, who was now smiling with pinkish cheeks. Josh stayed quiet, hoping Tyler would take this chance to continue. "You know, when I first met you after that stupid fire alarm night, I thought you just knew I was gay and wanted to push my buttons like every other boy around here. But now I don't even know. You make smoking weed okay, which still sounds weird to say. You confuse me."

"I confuse me too, honestly." Josh couldn't look at Tyler now, embarrassment still coursing through him. "I don't know what I am. I never really gave thought to it because I thought I would just know. But-" He stopped, trying to find his train of thought again. "I like girls, usually. But I like you more." There was a painfully long silence.

"I like you too." In Josh's head that was code for "sure, you can kiss me", and it must've been in Tyler's head too because when Josh leaned in Tyler was the one to close the gap between their lips.

It felt soft and curious, innocently excited. That is, until Josh felt himself being pushed back to the wall, blankets shuffling under the two. He made a small noise and felt the burning in his cheeks worsen. Tyler had his legs straddled around Josh's lap, his hands lightly gripping Josh's hips. Josh took the smaller boy's bottom lip between his teeth and pulled back gently, raking a small but content sound from Tyler.

Tyler moved back for a moment and Josh took in how beautiful the scene was: barely ruffled brown hair, tinted cheeks, reddened lips in the shape of an unbreakable smile. "What're you thinking about?" Tyler asked breathlessly.

"I'm thinking about how the guy in front of me could put any other face on earth to fuckin' shame."

"That's not true," Tyler said, smiling and looking down.

"But it is, really. I wasn't lying to you that night of the incident. I guess I just played it off so well that you thought I was fucking around," Josh grinned.

Tyler felt a small pang of guilt. "You liked me even then? Even when I was a bitter little shit to you?"

Josh shrugged. "I didn't mind. I deserved most of it anyway."

Tyler stayed quiet for a little bit before leaning in again, lightly pressing their lips together. "Let me make it up to you," he said after pulling away a bit too soon for Josh's taste. "Please. I don't care about what you deserved, I was a jerk and you're amazing."

Josh felt his chest fill up with emotion. "What did you have in mind?"

"Two things." Tyler rolled off of the blue-haired boy's lap. "A movie and dinner. And maybe something else to completely kill off the whole 'first date' nerves. I mean like, unless you already had plans-"

"Yes. I mean no, I don't have plans, yes to you," Josh answered nervously. Seriously, where the _hell_ was his chill? "And I thought you said you might want to wait awhile."

"I also said you make it okay, and then we made the fuck out. Shit happens," Tyler shrugged.

•

"I hope you weren't expecting an actual restaurant or movie theater," Tyler said as Josh walked back into the dorm. He had decided to spend a few hours with his other friends, as much as he really wanted to just hang out with Tyler and this newfound connection. And Tyler had basically forced him out anyway, to clean up his room and make it worthy of a perfect movie night.

"In college?" Josh laughed. "I'm surprised you were even able to rent a movie."

"About that." Tyler picked up the DVD case from the bed and tossed it to Josh. "Not a rental. It's some old b-movie that I got from the dollar store a couple months back."

"The dollar store? Oh man, you really know how to woo someone." By this point Josh and Tyler were laughing as if they'd been best friends since forever, except a slight difference in the air that said it was a bit more. In Tyler's opinion, pulling out the cheap movie from the bottom of his closet was the best idea he'd ever had. He kept the mindset that they would most likely not pay attention to the movie anyway.

"So do you want to head out now?"

Tyler was pulled from his thoughts and looked at Josh. "What?"

"To smoke."

"Right, right," Tyler said, walking to get his jacket, but stopped. "Let's just do it here. I got too cold last time."

"You sure? Your room might smell for a bit," Josh said warily. He also remembers pretty clearly about Tyler wanting his room to have nothing to do with that.

"I don't mind. Not like I have people always coming in," Tyler stated, sitting on his bed and patting the empty space next to him.

•

Josh stared in awe as whitish ribbons curled out and up from Tyler's mouth. "Wow."

Tyler looked at him hazily as this was already their third bowl. "Hm?"

"You're beautiful." Tyler giggled at the comment.

"Nu-uh, you are."

"Keep lying to yourself," Josh shrugged, taking his pipe back and taking a long hit. He let it out shakily and ended with a small coughing fit, grabbing a stray water bottle from the floor and trying his best not to choke.

"Are we good?" Tyler asked after Josh composed himself.

"One more, I wanna try something." Josh lifted up the pipe to his lips and lit it, holding it in and using a small finger gesture to get Tyler to scoot a bit closer. Josh placed his hands on the boy's jawline, pressing hot lips and slowly exhaling the smoke into his mouth. He sat back, watching Tyler exhale a small puff with a look of absolute amazement.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Tyler said, mesmerized.

"Dunno, just some little thing my friend used to do to impress whatever girl he was hanging out with."

"Well, I'm impressed, not gonna lie," Tyler said as Josh got up and put his pieces back in his backpack. "Are you hungry? Or could we just lie down for a bit?"

Josh popped the DVD into the player, knowing both of them would be too lazy to later. "Yeah, we can do that. You feeling okay?" He asked, sitting back on the bed and letting Tyler lean up against him.

"M'yeah, just a little too spacey right now."

"Wonder how that happened," Josh chuckled.

"Shush." Tyler snuggled down into the blankets. "Lay down with me."

Josh smiled, pushing aside all of the dirty comments that he would usually have already shot out by now because Tyler was too adorable and this moment couldn't be killed, it just couldn't. He laid down on his side, mirroring Tyler. He scooted closer to him until their faces were a couple of inches away, feeling his lids become heavier. Before he had completely knocked out he leaned in and kissed Tyler, who didn't kiss back with as much energy (but you couldn't blame him, he was still a featherweight when it came to these things).

About twenty minutes of pure unconsciousness passed until they were jolted awake by an all too familiar sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had this idea brewing in my head before i even starting writing this trash im so pl eas ed


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't mind all my friends  
> I know they're all crazy  
> but they're the only friends that I have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sosorry for abandoning this but hEy ive wasted enough time lets do this

Josh could feel Tyler sit upright quickly, hearing his quick breaths. The fire alarm was blaring in their ears along with the sound of angrily slammed doors throughout the hallway because damn, this was getting _old_.

"Tyler? You're okay, it's just the alarm." Josh sat up, nudging himself closer to Tyler, who now had his hands over his ears. 

"Why am I freaking out?" Tyler panicked, pulling his knees up. 

"Hey, hey, everything's alright. You're just a bit shaken, okay? We have to walk out to the hall, can you do that?" Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler's shoulder. 

"In a second," Tyler said quietly. He needed to gather up the slightest bit of himself before going out there, as to not raise suspicions. Eventually the younger boy nodded, leaning in to Josh's touch and walking out to see Pete across the hall with the same tired expression as last time. This time, however, it quickly switched to one of utter confusion because well, the boy who Tyler was close to blowing up at a few nights ago now had his arms around Tyler's waist. Pete shrugged it off. Who was he to judge?

Tyler's shaking had slowed down a bit, and he now had his head resting on Josh's shoulder. "Better?" Josh asked softly.

Tyler nodded. "Yeah. But uh, can we sit down? Everything's still a little spinny for me."

Josh smiled at the sound of his tiny voice, clasping their hands together and sliding down to the floor. "I wish the stupid alarm hadn't gone off. You're the cutest sleeper, you know that?" 

Before Tyler could reply there was a shout from down the hall. "Josh!"

The two looked to their left to see Brendon and Ryan stumbling towards them, and Josh immediately stood up. "I'll only be a minute."

Tyler opened his mouth to say something but decided against it.

-

"So whats with you and that quiet kid from Anatomy?" Brendon nudged Josh in the chest. 

Josh forced a laugh. "Oh you know, I got into shit with him for cheating on the exam on Friday."

"Uh huh." Ryan smirked. He had a bottle of Smirnoff in hand which he gestured to Josh, who politely declined. "So, is holding his hand part of this punishment, or...?"

Josh's face flared up. "Fuck off," he muttered.

Ryan let out an obnoxiously drunken laugh, slapping him on the back with a little too much enthusiasm. "You know I don't care how you swing, Dun. To each his own, right?"

"Right." Josh spoke through clenched teeth. Why were his friends so bothersome now? For fuck's sake, they're his _friends_.  

...Right?

Brendon piped up. "Would he be down for us visiting? Of course, after this alarm stuff is handled." The two broke into drunken laughter.Josh could feel Tyler's eyes burning into the back of his head.

"It's  _2am,_  Bren. Once this is over I'm going back to bed." He looked down at the bottle in Ryan's hand, then made himself look at anything else in the hall. 

The shrill alarm suddenly shut off, and the sound of tired relief echoed down the hall. "Change of plans," Ryan cut in. "We're gonna hang with you two 'til about, say... four? You wouldn't want us getting caught for this, right?" 

Josh struggled to find his voice as he turned around to see most of the hall empty by now except Tyler, who seemed to have fallen asleep sitting up against the wall. "You can come in for a  _little bit_. I don't need him kicking my ass for this." 

As Josh turned to walk to the room he heard Brendon make a whipping sound. He rolled his eyes.

He crouched down near the doorway to Tyler's level. "Ty?"

Tyler's eyes opened the slightest bit. "You know I don't like that name." He looked over at the two buzzed men, who were chatting near Pete's door. His eyes widened with panic. "Oh no, no. They're not coming in. Is that alcohol? I-"

Josh quickly clasped his hand over Tyler's mouth. "I'll keep them under control, they won't screw with any of your stuff, okay? Now, I'm sorry to handle you and the situation like this. It was just an impulse. I'm gonna let go now, don't hit me."

Josh quickly removed his hand from Tyler's mouth, who stayed silent for a moment. Josh couldn't tell if he was calm or just hiding the fact that he was pissed very well.

"Sure. They can come in." He pushed himself up, ignoring Josh who had stuck out his hand to help him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back from the dead yall  
> and if youre still reading this then holy shit thank you  
> seriously you're the best your comments make my life


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